Use contrast to gain clarity

It is important to know that our negative emotions are there to show us that our current thoughts are out of alignment with what we truly desire, so it’s super important not to suppress them, it is telling us that we are out of integrity.

Listen to them, feel them and move through them - without buffering. This gets easier with time. Like any new skill, it takes a little practice to get into the swing of things. When we feel negative emotions, we judge them and want them to go away as quickly as possible. So we buffer by using substances and/or activities that numb our pain; overworking, prescription or illegal drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, hours scrolling on social media, Netflixing, food, sex or even excessive exercise. 

Anything that makes us feel immediately better through physiology removes us from being present. So we may feel better in the moment, but we still have negative thoughts. We need to comprehend that the negative emotions we’re avoiding are essential to understand so we can move through them to dissipate their hold on us.

We are all born with an innate negative bias, we can use this data of negative thoughts and flip them. For example, if you’re in the market for a new romance or job, list all the attributes you’d like to have in this person or role. Often you’ll find your mind going to everything you don’t want in a relationship or company culture. There’s the negative bias playing out, and here’s where we use contrast to gain clarity. 

Your thoughts create your life.

They’re important sentences in your mind. Pay attention to them. This will be harder than you think. So many of our thoughts seem true, be mindful that we don’t even recognise them as thoughts. As a belief is only a thought that you've repeated, make sure that they are thoughts and beliefs that honour you, not just what you've accepted without question.

Emotions drive every action we take. 

Imagine a car. The car needs fuel to run. Without fuel, the car goes nowhere, and it’s the same with us. What’s the fuel that drives us? Think about this.

 Most of us do it unconsciously. We just wait and see what comes along, waiting for inspiration, motivation, and excitement to rise within us before we get to work. With our cars, we prioritise getting fuel. We’re even willing to pay for it. We make sure it’s high quality and that we have plenty of it. We need to take the same responsibility for the emotional fuel we use in our lives.

Your thoughts, those sentences in your mind, are what create your feelings. Emotions are always created by thought, but it’s not always conscious and deliberate thought. 

Your feelings are what drive your actions, and your actions create your results. This is a very clean and simple way of looking at how you experience the world, and it’s pretty accurate! Your thinking creates your feelings, and your feelings drive your actions, and your actions give you your results.

So step one is to really begin to look inside your mind and see what you’re thinking, to become conscious and curious of your thoughts, and to ask yourself why. 

When it comes to anything in your life, if you ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing, why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling, the answer you give yourself will always be a thought. Asking yourself, “Why?” is the best way to get to know what’s happening inside your mind. This will help you create and design a life of intent and you will be in integrity with yourself.