The inner critic

That voice in our head that keeps us stuck, the emotions of fear, worry and anxiety rise, wanting to consume us. We think our thoughts are correct, so we buy into them, and our thoughts drive our feelings. The inner critic wields its power over the inner champion, that part of you who dreams big and wants to live in empowerment!

This happens from our survival brain, the prehistoric part of us solely focussed on what will harm us. “Stay in the cave”, it screams as soon as any changes occur in our lives. The survival brain does not like change one bit. It likes the familiar, and our emotions are the first outcome of our thoughts.

We have an innate negative bias because it is more important to remember what will harm us, like poisonous berries that make us sick or potentially kill us, than it is to remember the sweet-tasting ones. The primitive brain doesn’t care if you’re happy. It only wants to keep you alive!

Negative thinking = feeling negative emotions. Positive thoughts = positive emotions.

                               How you feel should be the most important thing to you.

It’s our compass in life, and we always manage our feelings through our thoughts.

If you pay attention to the circumstances in your life, you’ll see that they will directly mirror how you feel.

When we feel negative emotions, we judge them and want them to go away as quickly as possible. So we buffer by using substances that numb our pain, overworking, prescription or illegal drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, hours scrolling on social media, Netflixing, food, sex or even excessive exercise.

Anything that makes us feel immediately better through physiology and/or distracts and disconnects us from being in the present moment. So we may feel better, but we still have negative thoughts. We need to comprehend that the negative emotions we’re avoiding are essential to understand so we can move through them to dissipate their hold on us.

• What have you done in the past to buffer negative feelings?

• Have you noticed the circumstances in your life mirror your emotional state? If so, in what ways?

• How would your life change if you learned how to manage your thoughts?