Living Boldly

We all know that feeling when we feel stuck, and there are things that we need and want to do, but we don’t. Why is that?

In my experience, when we break it down, there’s always a fear thought that’s the underlying issue more often than not. It’s a fear of failure, or maybe a fear of rejection, and it’s enough to keep us feeling stuck, so we find ourselves annoyed and frustrated as we procrastinate or distract ourselves with anything except for the task at hand. 

So how can we move past this? What we need to do is to create psychological safety for ourselves, because when we’re in this fear state and thinking fearful thoughts, our amygdala fires up and our survival mode kicks in, it’s just the way we’re wired. 

The prefrontal cortex is where rational thought happens and that switches off when the amygdala has been fired up. This means that you can’t think rational thoughts whilst you’re in survival mode. So how do we change that? Herein lies the value  in learning how to create a sense of safety for ourselves to be able to move through this process and re-train our brain to be able to regulate our nervous system and calm the amygdala, in other words, get out of survival mode and create psychological safety for ourselves as fast as possible, and we do this by retraining our brain, we learn how to change the old thought patterns. 

This sounds easy in theory, however when we are triggered, and all those old unhelpful  thoughts are ruling our mind, it takes a conscious effort to regulate ourselves once again. One way we can do this, is to gain clarity on what we want to achieve and then write down all the things that we are worried about in achieving our goal. What are all the things that could possibly go wrong, and what’s the worst-case scenario? Next, when you look at your list of worries and fears, ask yourself how much of that is based in reality, and how much is an assumption. 

When we take the time to identify and question the validity of our fear thoughts, replace them with empowering ones that align with your vision. This is where we are retraining our neurobiology to work for us, not against us, so be kind to yourself whilst learning this process as it takes time to embrace a new mindset 

Stay curious when you start to feel wobbly and remember that the challenges we overcome builds our resilience, and that’s how we learn to trust and back ourselves. If you’re not getting the results that you want. Keep asking questions, as all you need is more data to lead you in the direction where you want to go. If you find that your thoughts start to spiral, write them down and repeat the process.

Use contrast to gain clarity, use the data of the negative thought and flip it to train your brain to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Remember that growth occurs outside of your comfort zone so acknowledge and celebrate your achievements along the way, reflect on your progress regularly, take care of yourself physically,  emotionally and mentally. Establish healthy habits, set healthy boundaries, and make sure to make time for activities that you bring you joy and relaxation because as we learn the skills to empower ourselves, we will undoubtedly encounter bumps along the way, after all,  to live boldly does not mean to live without fear or carelessly, but to be able to learn the skills to re-train ourselves to have the resilience and be adaptable to face life’s challenges without being paralysed by the thoughts in our head, which is the real enemy that most of us face. I invite you to join me in living an empowered life and learn how to be comfortably uncomfortable.