Learning to back yourself

Why can’t so many of us shake the feeling that we haven’t earned our accomplishments? Or that our ideas or skills aren’t worthy of others’ attention?

Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their own accomplishments and has a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud." People with imposter syndrome often experience  thoughts that lead them to feel like they do not deserve their success or accomplishments and they attribute their successes to luck or external factors rather than their own abilities.

Psychologist Pauline Rose Clance was the first to study this unwarranted sense of insecurity and her work as a therapist showed many of her undergraduate patients shared a concern; though they had high grades, they didn’t believe they deserved their spots at the university. Some even believed their acceptance had been an admission error. While Clance knew these fears were unfounded, she could also remember the exact same feeling as a graduate.

Einstein viewed himself as an involuntary swindler and that his work didn’t deserve as much attention that it received.

The late poet and author Maya Angelou once said, "I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out.'"

Oscar-winning actor Tom Hanks has described feeling like a fraud despite his success, saying, "No matter what we've done, there comes a point where you think, 'How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?'"

Actress Emma Watson, has spoken about feeling like an imposter when it comes to her acting career, saying, "It's almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases."

These are just a few examples of famous people who have struggled with imposter syndrome. It is important to remember that imposter syndrome is a common experience that can affect anyone.Their accomplishments are rare, but their feeling of fraudulence are extremely common.

Imposter syndrome affects us all regardless of age, gender, demographics, or education. To call it a syndrome plays down this universal phenomenon! It’s not linked to depression, anxiety or self-esteem, it’s not a disease or an abnormality. Imposter syndrome is not a diagnosable mental health disorder, but it can cause significant distress and impact a person's confidence and self-esteem. 

So where do these feelings of fraudulence come from?

People who are highly skilled or accomplished think that other people are just as skilled, which can spiral into feeling that they don’t deserve accolades and opportunities over other people. And as Angelou and Einstein experienced, there’s often no threshold of accomplishment that puts these feelings to rest!

Everyone is susceptible to a phenomenon called pluralistic ignorance, where we each doubt ourselves privately but believe we’re alone in thinking that way because no one else voices their doubts since it's tough to really know how hard our peers work, how difficult they find certain tasks or how much they doubt themselves. There is no easy way to dismiss feelings that we’re less capable than the people around us.

One of the biggest problems these feelings  create is that it stops people from sharing their great ideas or applying for jobs that they would excel at!

One of the ways to combat imposter syndrome is to talk about it, and not be afraid to ask about our performance.  This is challenging as it’s natural to feel worried that our fears will be confirmed, as even when we’ve received positive feedback it often fails to ease feelings of fraudulence.

However, when we hear that a mentor or an advisor has experienced feelings of impostorism, this acknowledgment can help relieve those feelings. The same goes for peers and co workers. Even learning that there is a term for these feelings can provide relief! Once we are aware of this phenomenon we can collect and revisit positive feedback to combat our own feelings of impostorism. 

One scientist kept blaming herself for things going wrong in her lab, she started to document when things started to go wrong and discovered that most of the problems came from equipment failure and not her own incompetence!

We may never be able to banish these feelings entirely, but we can have open conversations about our challenges. With increasing awareness of how common these feelings are, maybe we can be honest about our feelings and build confidence with some simple truths. You have talent, you are capable and you belong.

Overcoming imposter syndrome can be challenging, but it is possible with the right strategies and mindset. Here are some tips that can help:

1. Recognise your achievements: It is important to acknowledge your accomplishments and recognise your skills and expertise. Keep a record of your achievements, such as positive feedback from colleagues or clients, and use them to counteract negative self-talk.
2. Challenge negative thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, challenge them by asking yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Try to reframe negative thoughts in a more positive light and focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
3. Seek support: Talk to supportive friends or colleagues, or seek the help of a therapist or coach. They can provide objective feedback and help you gain perspective on your abilities and accomplishments.
4. Set realistic goals: Setting achievable goals can help build confidence and provide a sense of accomplishment. Start small and gradually increase the difficulty of your goals.
5. Embrace failure: Failure is a natural part of learning and growth. Instead of fearing failure, embrace it as an opportunity to learn and improve.
6. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself can help reduce stress and increase self-confidence. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Remember that overcoming imposter syndrome is a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.

Imposter syndrome is a common experience that can affect anyone and if you would like me to support you, please reach out. You’re not alone. And learning how to back yourself will positively impact all areas of your life. It's most certainly worth the effort!