Are you living life on your own terms?

In our youth, we get taught life skills that are helpful. However, no one teaches us why we think certain thoughts or how to think on purpose. In my youth, I didn’t even know that managing my thoughts was an option, let alone how to think purposefully! The thoughts in my mind went unquestioned, leading to suffering and feeling emotions that overwhelmed me, resulting in negative outcomes that felt out of my control.

Now I know better, I choose to live in a state of curiosity. When we have a curiosity mindset, we become adaptable and resilient in the circumstances that life throws at us. We also stay out of judgement and view life very differently. I find it’s a much kinder way to live, for myself and definitely for others.

As humans, we have the privilege of creating consciousness about what we are thinking about. We have the ability to comprehend that our thoughts, not our circumstances create our feelings, and ideally we have the skills needed to manage ourselves. Our power is to be able to reflect on our thoughts, which always leads how we feel and to the results we experience.

Did you know that humans make decisions purely based on how we think we will feel?

Unfortunately, most of our early life decisions are simply given to us. We’re taught what to believe and what to think. In our early lives, we don’t have the capacity to question what we’re taught, so we take it all on unquestionably, the decisions of our parents, culture and our society without even realising it. 

We often don’t consider all the options available before moving forward when we’re only exposed to one way of thinking, causing us to live lives of “shoulds” and “supposed to” instead of living in alignment. Have you ever felt in your core that something didn’t sit well? However, the overwhelming feelings of obligation weighed heavily on you, eliminating any sense of autonomy or choice to respond differently. That’s usually the result of social conditioning. 

One of the most painful traps that I see my clients fall into is the thought or belief that they don’t have a choice. They feel stuck in the suffering from past decisions. And there is plenty of social conditioning to support them in staying stuck. 

Not exactly a fun way to live, right?

You can change your relationships, your home, your career, your education, your body and your future! How good is that? And most importantly, you can change your thoughts which is the fundamental first step to making that all happen. 

A powerful question to ask is, “Would I choose this again today”?

This question is important to answer consciously and carefully because you’re actually doing it automatically, whether you realise it or not. 

By not making a decision to change something, you are choosing to have it again and again. 

For many parts of your life, this may be good and wanted, but my guess is that you’ll also find areas where it isn’t desirable to continue and where you haven’t consciously redecided your life on purpose.

Some of the telltale signs of not living life on your own terms are that you feel drained, uninspired, stuck and frustrated. You will also most likely find it difficult to manage your emotions and spend a lot of time overthinking! You make decisions out of obligation, not because it’s right for you or because you feel excited about the prospect! You feel like you always come last and that your happiness and wellbeing are not a priority. 

The more conscious decisions you make, the better. Decision-making takes energy, effort and thoughtfulness, so we don't want to delay the process. This is a deliberate process of creating consciousness.

One of the main problems we all have is making unconscious, unwanted, automatic decisions. These are the decisions that our brain makes for us over and over each day. 

So I shall ask you again, are you living life on your own terms?

If you feel you’d like some help in creating a life you don’t want to escape, book an obligation-free call with me via my website, I would love to hear from you.