It's not confidence you're lacking!

You will never stop doubting yourself, and here’s why…

You’ll hear many theories about building your confidence, all the tips and techniques to squelch self-doubt for good—but it’s a lie. No matter how accomplished anyone is, self-doubt will stand by you with unwavering loyalty. 

Why is that though? 

It seems so counterproductive to be hard-wired to struggle with feeling confident when it's in our best interest to go forth and conquer, to bring our ideas into fruition and create a better life! Those thoughts of self-doubt will slow you down, and no matter how many times you've tried your best to silence them, the will resurface every time we try a new thing! We are wired to do almost anything to feel better about ourselves and alleviate self-doubt, but the problem is that the human brain is prone to having a meltdown when we venture from the safety of our comfort zone. The brain’s primary purpose is to keep you safe, and it will do just about anything to do so, even at the cost of your happiness and fulfilment!

Imagine what it would feel like if we changed how we thought about self-doubt as something that is a given, and that we will constantly be battling to overcome every time we dream a little bigger. Understand that when we make confidence this unachievable, always just out of reach - no matter how many achievements you have, goal, that you will still be plagued with the thoughts along the lines of “here goes nothing”, or “I’m about to embarrass myself”, “this isn’t going to work”, “I don’t think I’ve got what it takes”, or “this is where they find out I’m a fraud” when launching a new idea or embarking on the changes we need/want to make.

So I offer you a different idea. How about we change how we relate to the thoughts that squash our creativity, killing our inspirations the moment we buy into them and instead expect the mind drama without buying into it? Just be the observer of the thoughts that sound oh so very convincing that you basically suck at everything when you're going after that stretch goal!

When we set the unattainable goal of feeling super confident in everything, we place a ridiculous amount of pressure on ourselves, which often leads us to feel stressed. This stress shuts us down, and we end up doing nothing, giving up, overthinking, or spending way too much time procrastinating. 

But what if I told you that you don’t need more confidence? That you can move forward without putting off your goals right now by accepting that you will always have thoughts of self-doubt, and that’s okay. EVERYONE, no matter how accomplished, has these thoughts at one time or another whilst in transition. 

So stop getting frustrated with those thoughts that keep you stuck, stop the internal dialogue that argues like a self-righteous teenager, and know that it’s the hard-wiring the human brain has to keep you safe—not happy, not fulfilled, just safe. So when you hear that harsh, repetitive voice telling you you can’t, know this isn’t your rational mind. This voice does not come from your best thinking; this voice is not you. 

It can become difficult to separate ourselves from this voice because we’ve heard it all our life, and it becomes deafening when we’re at a crossroads or when it’s time to take a big leap, like going for that promotion, starting your own business, changing careers or relationships. That voice is the guard dog that sleeps when you’re in the status quo but wakes up barking viciously with impending change. When it’s time to step out of our lovely, safe comfort zone, that voice will tell you whatever lies it needs to stop you from making any changes, and that voice is exceptionally persuasive. It knows exactly what to say to sucker punch you into submission. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. 

So instead of letting that voice convince you to stay small, you can pat that guard dog on the head and thank it for wanting to keep you safe and assure it that all is well, and it’s okay for you to go for that stretch goal. This is a skill that only grows the more you practice it. So stop buying the idea that a lack of confidence is the problem, and instead look to building courage, and place more attention on taking action without certainty. 

It is a rare individual indeed who feels 100% confident in times of change and walking new paths, and that’s ok. You don’t need more confidence. You just need to learn the skill of taking action without certainty whilst you’re in the overwhelm that self-doubt bestows! And you can start practising that today!

If you would like to hone your skills in overcoming overwhelm and gaining clarity in times of change, book an obligation free call now to hear how I can support you, and fast track creating a better life. Click HERE to book now. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.